Slowing Down: Learning to Be Where You Are
By Carmela Ruggiero
Sometimes, the words we need to hear arrive at exactly the right moment.
A few years ago, at the Mind Body Festival, I bought a book by Stephanie King. Every now and then, when I am looking for an answer or simply feel that I need some guidance I pick it up, hold it in my hands and open it at a random page.
I don't overthink it.
I simply read whatever page I land on.
And somehow, quite often, the words seem to find me at exactly the right moment.
Recently, after returning from holiday, I was feeling a little all over the place. There was so much happening, so much to catch up on and so many things I felt I needed to do.
I opened the book.
The passage I found was incredibly timely.
It was about accepting where we are now rather than constantly looking back at where we could have been, what we could have done differently, or what we think we should have achieved by now.
The message, essentially, was this:
We are where we are because of the choices we have made along the way and this is where we are meant to be at this moment.
That really stayed with me.
We are always rushing towards the next thing
How often do we find ourselves thinking:
If only I had done that differently.
If only I had known sooner.
If only I had made that decision.
If only I had started earlier.
I know I do.
Life can sometimes feel like one long list of things to accomplish. We move from one deadline to another, one opportunity to another, one responsibility to another.
And just when we think we have caught up, another ten things appear.
I often feel as though I am chasing my own tail.
There is always another email to answer, another idea to develop, another piece of artwork to finish, another opportunity to consider, another person to reply to.
And sometimes, without even realising it, we start measuring our lives by how much we have managed to get done.
But what happens when we stop?
What happens when we allow ourselves to slow down?
Sometimes slowing down is exactly what we need
This lesson has become particularly real for me recently.
I have been recovering from a virus and a period of feeling completely depleted. I would have one day where I felt a little better and immediately think:
"Right, I'm better now. Let's get back to everything!"
So I would throw myself back into work.
And then the next day, my energy would disappear again.
Fatigue. Headaches. Feeling unwell. Needing to stop.
Eventually, I realised I couldn't keep working against what my body was telling me.
I needed to slow down.
Not because I was failing.
Not because I was being lazy.
And certainly not because I had lost my ambition.
I needed to slow down because I needed to recover.
That distinction is important.
Sometimes we interpret rest as a weakness or slowing down as falling behind.
But perhaps slowing down is not falling behind at all.
Perhaps it is simply choosing a different pace.
Everything feels urgent when we are overwhelmed
One of the things I have noticed is that when we are tired, overwhelmed or trying to do too much, everything suddenly feels like a priority.
Every email feels urgent.
Every opportunity feels important.
Every unfinished task feels like something we should be doing immediately.
But when we pause, breathe and create a little space, our perspective changes.
We can begin to ask:
What really matters today?
Not tomorrow.
Not next month.
Not everything on the list.
Just today.
And sometimes the answer is surprisingly simple.
Rest.
Create.
Go outside.
Drink a cup of tea.
Write something down.
Take a walk.
Sit quietly.
Spend time with someone we love.
Or simply do nothing for a while.
These things can feel unproductive when we live in a world that constantly encourages us to do more.
But they can be exactly what allows us to return to ourselves.
Reconnecting with yourself
This brought me back to something I was teaching about two years ago, when I travelled to New York and delivered a workshop at Teachers College, Columbia University, about how to reconnect with yourself.
It feels almost surreal that two years have passed.
At the time, I was speaking about reconnecting with ourselves through creativity, reflection and awareness.
Today, I find myself living that lesson in a very different way.
Because sometimes reconnecting with yourself isn't about doing something new.
Sometimes it is about stopping long enough to notice where you already are.
To notice your energy.
To notice your thoughts.
To notice what your body is telling you.
To notice whether the life you are creating actually gives you space to breathe.
This is particularly important when we have busy lives, responsibilities, ambitions and people who rely on us.
We don't always need another productivity technique.
Sometimes we need clarity, calm and permission to slow down.
A memory from America
Looking through old photographs recently brought another memory back to me.
When two years ago, around Halloween, I was in America and visited my friend in New Jersey.
I don't normally celebrate Halloween, but I remember being fascinated by the atmosphere there.
The area was beautifully forested, almost wintry, with that magical autumn feeling. I remember seeing the decorations, the reindeer and all the little details that made the place feel completely different from home.
Most of all, I remember connecting with nature.
Looking at those photographs now, I find myself thinking:
"I wish I was there again."
But then I remind myself that this is what life does.
We move.
We grow.
We experience new things.
We leave places behind and create new memories.
And that doesn't mean the old moments are lost.
We can look back at a photograph and treasure what we experienced without needing to go backwards.
Perhaps that is another form of being present.
Honouring where we have been while remaining open to where we are going.
Who knows?
The conference I attended in America is held every two years. Perhaps I will go again one day.
Perhaps I won't.
Life has a funny way of surprising us.
And I think it is perfectly healthy to have little dreams and possibilities sitting quietly in the background.
We don't have to make everything happen immediately.
Honour what you have already achieved
This is something I have been learning more deeply this year.
When we are constantly looking towards the next goal, we can forget to look back and recognise how far we have already come.
We finish one project and immediately start another.
We achieve something and immediately ask:
"What's next?"
But what if we paused for a moment and said:
"I did that."
"I created that."
"I got through that."
"I'm proud of myself."
There is something powerful about honouring our own achievements.
Not because everything is perfect.
Not because we have reached the final destination.
But because our journey matters too.
I think slowing down has given me the opportunity to see some of my own achievements more clearly.
And perhaps that is one of the unexpected gifts of having to pause.
When we stop rushing towards the next thing, we finally have the chance to appreciate where we have already been.
What can you take from this?
If you are feeling overwhelmed, exhausted or as though you are constantly chasing your tail, perhaps try these two simple practices.
1. Ask yourself: "What really matters today?"
Instead of looking at everything you could do, choose one or two things that genuinely matter today.
Everything else can wait.
And if what matters most is rest, allow that to be the answer.
2. Create a small moment of stillness
Give yourself five or ten minutes without trying to achieve anything.
Put your phone down.
Take a few slow breaths.
Write in your journal.
Draw.
Sit with a cup of tea.
Look outside.
Notice how you feel.
You don't have to solve your whole life in that moment.
You simply need to come back to yourself.
Because perhaps life isn't always asking us to move faster.
Perhaps sometimes it is asking us to pause, listen and trust the moment we are in.
And perhaps the place we are in right now isn't a place we need to escape from.
Perhaps it is exactly where we need to be.
If this resonates with you…
My creative practice is very much connected to this idea of slowing down, reconnecting and listening to what is within us.
Art, journaling and mindful creativity have become some of the ways I return to myself and they are at the heart of Ruggiero Studios.
If you would like to explore more of my work, you can:
🎨 Explore my artwork and creative workDiscover my artwork, collections and creative practice on the Ruggiero Studios website.
📖 Explore my journals and creative resources
My journals and free resources are designed to encourage reflection, self-discovery and moments of connection.
✨ Discover my Love & Light Oracle Cards
The Love & Light Oracle is a gentle invitation to pause, reflect and listen to your inner guidance.
I share my art, creative process and mindful thoughts little moments of creativity and reflection to help you slow down and reconnect.
And if you enjoy these reflections, I would love for you to explore some of my other blog posts too.
There is no need to rush.
Take what speaks to you.
Leave what doesn't.
And perhaps, for today, simply give yourself permission to be exactly where you are.
You might be surprised by what you notice when you stop rushing towards what comes next.
With love,
Carmela x
Ruggiero Studios
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